Top 11 Tips to Build a Stronger Sibling Bond (2024)

As a parent, it’s natural to want to help your children learn how to resolve their differences peacefully when they’re having a tough time getting along. But let’s not forget that their motivation to work things out happily depends on how much positivity they’ve built up in their “relationship bank account.”

So, how can we help siblings build up a strong reserve of good feelings to draw on? The answer is simple: by having a good time together! According to John Gottman from the Seattle Love Lab, couples need five to seven positive interactions to balance out one negative interaction. Although there hasn’t been specific research done on siblings, it’s still a good benchmark to aim for.

Now, I know it might seem overwhelming to try and create that many positive interactions, especially if your kids are fighting six times a day. But remember, even something as small as a smile counts as a positive interaction. It doesn’t have to be anything big to have a beneficial effect. The important thing is to adopt the goal of helping your children have as many positive interactions as possible to build a stronger sibling bond.

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Some of the Things You Can Do to Build a Stronger Sibling Bond is:

Promoting Activities & Play Between Them

When it comes to improving sibling relationships, one of the best ways to get your children to play together is by promoting activities they both enjoy. Research has shown that when children share activities they both like, they tend to have better relationships with each other.

I understand that identifying those activities can be challenging, especially if there’s a significant age or interest gap between your kids. But if you pay attention, you can usually find something that will interest them both. For example, if one child wants to play store, and the other wants to play astronaut, why not suggest having a store on the moon? Or perhaps they both enjoy playing with the toy kitchen, doing art together, or building forts.

It’s essential to encourage at least one shared activity every day to help your children build a stronger bond with each other. By noticing and promoting the activities that get your kids playing together, you can create positive experiences that will help improve their relationship. So, take some time to observe what your children enjoy doing and suggest activities that they can do together. It’s all about finding common ground and fostering a sense of togetherness that will last a lifetime!

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Don’t Interrupt When They Play Together

When your children are engaged in play and getting along well, it’s a special moment that you don’t want to disrupt. Instead, support them in whatever they need to keep playing, and don’t interrupt unless it’s absolutely necessary.

Let your children experience the joy of playing together and creating positive memories is essential. So, when they’re happily engaged in an activity, step back and let them enjoy it. Resist the urge to interfere, and let them continue playing together without interruption.

Remember, uninterrupted playtime can help your children build a stronger bond with each other, and it’s a vital part of fostering positive sibling relationships. So, next time you see your kids happily playing together, give them the space and time they need to continue enjoying each other’s company.

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Encourage Oxytocin-inducing Activities

One of the best ways to promote strong sibling bonds is by harnessing the power of oxytocin. This amazing hormone is released when we engage in activities that make us feel good, and it’s a key ingredient in building connections with others.

So, how can you use oxytocin to get your children bonding with each other? There are plenty of fun and engaging activities that can help boost oxytocin levels and promote sibling closeness. Here are a few examples:

• Laughing: Make time for silly jokes and playful banter. Watch funny videos together or play a game that involves laughter. Laughter is a great way to boost mood and bond with others.
• Being outdoors: Take your kids outside to explore nature and get some fresh air. Go for a hike, visit a park, or have a picnic in the backyard. Spending time in nature is a great way to promote relaxation and connection.
• Dancing: Turn up the music and have a dance party in the living room! Dancing is a great way to get your body moving and release those feel-good hormones.
• Singing: Belt out your favorite tunes together! Singing is not only fun, but it can also boost mood and promote relaxation.
• Roughhousing: Let your kids engage in some safe and supervised rough play. Wrestling, pillow fights, and tickle wars are all great ways to release energy and build connections.

By incorporating these activities into your daily routine, you can help your children build strong bonds with each other. So, get creative and have some fun with it! Your kids will thank you for it.

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Have Them Spend Some Daily Time Together

If you’re looking to strengthen the bond between your children, implementing a daily “special time” could be a great solution. By designating a specific 10-minute block of time each day for two siblings to spend together, you’re providing them with an opportunity to connect on a deeper level.

One of the best things about “special time” is that it can be helpful regardless of your children’s age gap or interests. For instance, if you have a toddler and a teenager, you might assume that they would have little in common. However, by encouraging them to spend time together each day, you can foster a connection that might not have existed otherwise.

It’s also worth noting that “special time” doesn’t have to be complicated or expensive. Set aside a quiet space where your children can talk, read, or play together without distraction. Alternatively, you might choose to engage in an activity that they both enjoy, such as drawing or building with blocks.

Incorporating “special time” into your daily routine is important because it helps to maintain the connection between your children. By making it a regular part of their day, you’re sending the message that spending time together is a priority. Additionally, it gives your children something to look forward to and can help reduce any jealousy or resentment that might arise if one child feels left out.

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When They Have a Bad Day, Encourage a Fun Activity Together

As a parent, you want to be there for your children when they’re having a bad day. One way to help them shift their mood is to engage them in an activity they both enjoy. Activities that are fun, creative, and engaging can help take their minds off of the negative emotions they may be feeling.

For instance, you could try making cookies with them. This simple and fun activity allows them to work together to create something delicious. Baking is a great way to teach children the value of cooperation and teamwork while also giving them a sense of accomplishment.

Another idea is to dance with them. Dancing is a great way to get them moving and release any pent-up energy they may have. It also allows them to let loose and have some fun, which can greatly improve their mood. You could even put on their favorite songs and have a dance party together.

If your children are more artistically inclined, you could try doing some drawing or painting together. This can be a calming activity that helps them express their feelings in a creative way. You could even give them a theme or prompt to work with, such as drawing a happy memory or a favorite place.

Whatever activity you choose, the key is to make it fun, engaging, and something they both enjoy. By doing this, you can help shift their mood and get them back on track to having a positive and enjoyable day.

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Enforce a Bedtime Habit of Saying Goodnight to Eachother

Building a strong sibling bond doesn’t just happen during the day but also at bedtime. A bedtime routine is a perfect time to create a space for your children to share affection and connection with each other. One simple way to do this is to include a time for them to say “goodnight” and “I love you” to each other. This small gesture may seem trivial, but it can greatly foster a sense of security and love between siblings.

In addition to saying goodnight, there are other ways to incorporate sibling bonding into the bedtime routine. For example, you can encourage older siblings to read bedtime stories to their younger siblings. This provides an opportunity for the younger sibling to hear a story and allows the older sibling to practice their reading skills and develop a sense of responsibility for their younger sibling.

Another activity that can be incorporated into the bedtime routine is having siblings share their favorite parts of the day with each other. This encourages siblings to listen to each other and fosters a sense of support and empathy. It can also be a great way to reinforce positive interactions that occurred during the day and help siblings focus on the good moments they shared together.

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Allow Them to Nurture One Another

Encouraging your children to nurture each other can go a long way in building a strong sibling bond. When one child is hurt, make it a family practice to pause what you’re doing and tend to the hurt child. Observe if the siblings step in to help each other. This can be an opportunity for them to learn how to empathize with each other’s feelings and show care and concern.

To further support this, you can involve all the children in the process. For instance, ask one child to go get the ice pack or bandaids while another can help you hold the hurt child’s hand. You can even let them take on the role of a medical assistant and tend to their sibling if it’s appropriate. By doing so, you help them feel like they’re part of the solution instead of the problem.

Here are a few examples of how you can encourage nurturing behavior among your children:

• If one child is feeling upset or sad, ask their sibling to help them feel better. This could involve offering a hug or a listening ear or suggesting an activity that they can do together to distract from the negative emotions.
• If one child is struggling with a task or a homework assignment, encourage their sibling to offer help and support. This could involve explaining a concept in a way that the struggling child can understand or simply offering words of encouragement and motivation.
• If one child is going through a difficult time, such as a breakup or a loss, encourage their sibling to be there for them. This could involve listening to them talk about their feelings, offering a shoulder to cry on, or simply being a comforting presence.

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Find Ways to Unite Them

As a parent, it’s important to encourage collaboration rather than competition between your children. Instead of pitting them against each other, find ways to unite them in a common goal. For instance, you could ask them to work together to clean up the toys in the playroom or help each other with their homework. By fostering teamwork, you build a stronger sibling bond and teach them valuable life skills.

Here are a few examples of how you can unite your children in the same mission:

1. Plan a family outing where everyone has to work together to achieve a goal. For instance, you could go on a hike and challenge them to reach the summit by a certain time.
2. Give them a task to complete together, such as baking a cake or building a fort. Encourage them to work as a team and to share their responsibilities.
3. Set up a family game night where everyone has to play as a team rather than against each other. This could be a board game or a physical game like charades.
4. Have them work together to create a family scrapbook or photo album. They can take turns choosing the pictures and decorating the pages.

Remember to praise their efforts and celebrate their successes as a team. This will motivate them to continue working together and strengthening their sibling bond.

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Put Them in Teams Together to Work Together

As parents, we want our children to feel like they’re part of a team rather than rivals in a constant battle for attention. That’s why it’s important to create activities that encourage siblings to work together instead of against each other. By promoting the idea of the sibling team, we can foster stronger bonds between our children that will last a lifetime.

One way to do this is by setting up family activities that require teamwork. For example, you can give your children a huge sheet of paper to draw on together, asking them to collaborate on a story or a picture. You can also have them write a letter to their grandma together, with each sibling taking turns writing sentences or drawing pictures to accompany the letter. Another fun idea is to design a scavenger hunt where the kids help each other, rather than compete against each other.

When roughhousing with your children, it’s also a good idea to team them up against grown-ups. This can be a fun way to show your kids that they are on the same team and that they can rely on each other for support. By working together in these types of activities, siblings will learn to appreciate each other’s strengths and weaknesses and develop a sense of camaraderie that will carry over into other areas of their lives.

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Think of Fun Group Projects

Consider putting your kids in charge of a project together to foster sibling bonding and teamwork. They can learn to communicate effectively, compromise, and support each other by working towards a common goal. One idea is to have them wash the car together to earn some money that would have been spent at the car wash. This activity promotes teamwork and teaches them the value of hard work and responsibility.

Another idea is to let them plan a fun family outing. This could be a local museum trip, a park picnic, or a hike on a nearby trail. Encourage them to work together to decide on the activity, plan the logistics, and pack any necessary supplies. This gives them a sense of ownership over the experience and helps them develop problem-solving and decision-making skills.

You could also put them in charge of the family holiday or event decorations. Let them brainstorm ideas together and work together to create decorations that everyone will enjoy. This activity allows them to be creative and work together towards a common goal.

It’s important to let the children take charge of the project as much as possible, with you only stepping in to ensure safety and maximum fun. By giving them the opportunity to work together towards a shared objective, you’re helping to build a strong foundation of teamwork and cooperation that will serve them well in all areas of their lives.

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Keep a Positivity Journal

One simple yet effective way to cultivate kindness and foster a sense of togetherness in your family is to start a family kindness journal. All you need is a few sheets of paper, a ribbon to tie them together, or a binder to keep them in. Begin by labeling it “Our Family Kindness Journal” and let the children have fun decorating it to make it their own.

To get started, you might choose a quote about kindness that resonates with your family, such as the Dalai Lama’s famous quote: “Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible.” Then, encourage your children to look out for acts of kindness between themselves, such as sharing toys or helping each other with homework, and write them down in the journal along with the date.

This simple yet powerful activity not only encourages children to be kind to each other but also helps them recognize and appreciate the kind actions of others. It also serves as a tangible record of the love and kindness within your family, which can be revisited and cherished for years to come.

Here are a few examples of how you can incorporate the family kindness journal into your family’s routine:

• At the end of each day, gather as a family and have each child share a kind act they noticed one of their siblings doing that day. Write it down in the journal and talk about why it was important.
• Use the journal to encourage siblings to express gratitude towards each other. Have them write down something they are thankful for about their sibling and why they appreciate them.
• During family meetings or gatherings, take a few minutes to read through some of the entries in the journal and reflect on how far your family has come in terms of kindness and compassion.
• Challenge your family to come up with ways to spread kindness beyond the family unit. Brainstorm ideas together and document the progress in the journal.

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